Conversations That Matter

by Dr. Heather J. Pinedo-Burns

Many of us fall into the familiar routine of asking, “So, how was school today?”—and are met with a one-word answer in return. More specific, open-ended questions often invite deeper, more meaningful conversations and help children reflect not only on what they did, but how they feel about school and their community.

Psychotherapist and author Amy Morin suggests seven thoughtful questions families can ask to spark richer dialogue at the end of the day:

• What was the best part of your day?

This invites reflection on joy and gratitude—two important foundations for well-being.

• What is a mistake you learned from today?

This normalizes mistakes and reinforces a growth mindset, helping children see failure as part of learning rather than something to avoid.

• Who were you proud of today?

This shifts attention toward others and nurtures empathy and appreciation for peers.

• What was one thing you could have made better today?

This opens the door to problem-solving and reframes mistakes as opportunities to learn from, an essential element of the learning process as humans.

• Who did you help today?

This frames helping others as a natural part of daily life and reinforces each child’s role in contributing to a community.

• What was the most interesting thing you learned today?

With so much hands-on inquiry happening at Acera, this encourages children to reflect on what truly engaged them. You might also ask what they learned about people that day.

• What is something new you want to try?

This builds anticipation and gently encourages risk-taking—something that can feel especially vulnerable for gifted learners.

I also enjoy asking a few additional questions at home:

• What was the kindest thing someone did for you today?

When children begin looking for kindness, they often discover it in both big and small ways.

• Who did you thank today? Why?

If the answer is “no one,” it becomes an opportunity to reflect on who they could have thanked.

• How did you help or contribute to the community today?

One of my favorites—because everyone contributes, and this helps children recognize their own impact.

Some families enjoy sharing reflections on their day together over dinner using simple frameworks like Rose, Thorn, Bud (a highlight, a challenge, and something you’re looking forward to) or High, Low, Buffalo (the best part, the hardest part, and the most surprising/funniest/weirdest moment).

Another approach…

Some students benefit from a more concrete approach, benefiting from less open ended questions. Begin with a more specific question to get your child thinking about their day – “Who did you sit next to today at lunch?” or working through their schedule chronologically can be helpful frames. These stems can initiate the conversation and lead to more conversation.

Approaching these conversations with openness and curiosity—rather than looking for a “right” answer—helps children feel seen, heard, and valued, and reinforces that their experiences matter. And, these conversations can be fun – a way to connect with your child after a busy day.

Happy Chatting,

Heather